To be satisfied with oneself is a rarer occurrence. I mean it seems to happen less often than, say, our being satisfied with some thing. Or being satisfied about some thing.
But being satisfied with oneself is also a deeper kind of satisfaction – when you set yourself an expectation from your self and then actually meet it.
When I finally manage to write a page which I had committed to myself that I would write before passing into the Land of Nod for the day, I avert a sense of lack that would have been there if I had failed to write that page. And when I actually write that page before, by, or about the time I was hoping to, I experience a certain level of fulfillment – a satisfaction.
Now there is another level of satisfaction that can stem from it. If I had set a certain kind of expectation or standard for my writing - with regard to idea-content or lucidity of writing or literary flourish or whatever, and I find my passages coming close to my expectation – I experience an even deeper sense of fulfillment. A satisfaction that seems to be better described as a sense of accomplishment.
So in the first case, the happiness was in having managed to attend to and complete an undertaken task. In the latter, the happiness is with the quality of the output.
Reminds me of words from a song by Keb Mo', a singer I rather like : And the action speaks louder than the words.
It's as if you placed a bet on yourself and won. You rapidly judged the odds of being able to swing something, went for it with some gusto, and actually succeeded. So there's you the performer and there's you the punter who placed a bet that prodded the performer in you to sprint and hit the tape.
The punter's thrills are more when there is greater uncertainty about the outcome. He has to raise the bar, increase the level of challenge – and mould the performer into a Sergei Bubka. The greater the percentage of my total potential that has thus been actually put to test, the more I feel satisfaction of the kind I get when manipulating the straw to really finish the drink inside a tetrapak.
Okay, this is how far we will go in this post. It's the finish line. Another lap run on the track of satisfaction. Should do it again soon...
Do feel free to mention here, things/people/ideas that really get your vote ( not your goat, please! ).
